Reminiscence of a Dragonite
by Farla
Summary: The story of a pokemon. Evolution doesn't just change the body, it changes the mind, and this pokemon will take revenge on those who it blames.


I don't own pokemon. Whoever doesn't get this and is the reason I have to write this is an idiot.  
  
(Changed the title. I didn't like it)  
  
Reminiscence of a Dragonite  
  
By Farla  
  
  
  
I was a happy little pokemon at first. I was young and low-level, a total moron. I was innocent and trusting and I wasn't smart enough to notice what was going on. My trainer was my idol. He was wonderful, perfect, godly, and so forth. Whatever he did was right, whatever he wanted should be done, whatever he asked of me was just. Or at least that was what I thought.  
  
I fought, I won most of the time, and my level increased. Sometimes, very, very rarely, I would start to question my trainer, my master's decisions, but I never let my inner doubts interfere with his orders.  
  
I fought hard. Looking back, I always find it strange. I never, not one single time, thought about why I was fighting. Oh, I listened to the pep talk about how he wanted the others and I, his precious 'friends' to help him be a pokemon master, and agreed with all of them about how we would help. But I didn't really think about it. I just figured that if he wanted me to do something, it must be a good idea. I never thought about exactly how this 'friendship' worked.  
  
Humans never seem to think long about what exactly a pokemon battle is. To them it's a contest to see which human trainer has better pokemon and is a better strategist. What they never seem to realize, even when they recall us, fainted, battered, bruised and bleeding, and give us food and rest, is that a pokemon battle is NOT a fun little game.  
  
I thought my master really understood. After a hard battle he would let me rest, and would give me food, and bring me to a pokemon center. But now, I realize that NONE OF THEM knew or cared. When a pokemon attacks a human, the other humans know the attack is painful even without experiencing it firsthand. Yet when we tear each other apart for them, they think this is fun for us. That's why we cry out when attacks hit, that's why we don't battle like this in the wild. We only do this at their request yet they claim WE are the ones who enjoy it.  
  
I never really though about it back then. I just figured it was the way of the world. I was caught as a child, just like most pokemon. None of us had any experiences of any other life.  
  
I never even considered disobeying, until one day, I evolved.  
  
Evolution is something trainers celebrate. They have no concept of how horrifying it is. We, who trust them, who never had parents long enough to remember them, who don't know anything but what they teach us, we don't know about what evolution really is either. We believe what we are told.  
  
In the wild, parents warn their children of what to expect. When a pokemon does evolve, they are kind and supportive, since they realize it is going through a rough time at first. Trainers don't know and don't care about this.  
  
I changed, and when the change stopped I was different. I was bigger, I was stronger, and who I was had disappeared. It was terrifying. I felt like I didn't exist anymore.  
  
My trainer was happy. For several days I moved in a daze, just obeying him. I still don't remember anything that happened then. What I noticed when I came out of the stupor was that HE hadn't noticed anything. If I hadn't just come out of a near coma, that revelation would have sent me into one. He, my best friend, the person I trusted like a parent, the closest thing I had to a family, hadn't even noticed what had happened to me. That was the beginning of the end.  
  
Once alerted, I couldn't shake the nagging doubt that he didn't really care about me, that he was just using me. And I started to doubt his decisions more.  
  
.  
  
My wonderful trainer didn't notice my moments of indecision, when I realized he made a bad choice. We kept fighting, and again and again I noticed times when I just knew that he made the wrong choice, but I obeyed.  
  
Still, I started to become quite a strong, high-level pokemon. I started to think more about my place in the world. I wondered why I battled, and I never really understood. But I loved my trainer, I really did. He was all the family I had. I couldn't remember much of my life before I was caught. I was a very young pokemon when I was caught, so I never even had memories of what my parents looked like.  
  
And one day evolution came to me again.  
  
I wasn't a total fool. I might have been stupid enough to obey a fool, to think he actually cared about me, but I wasn't dumb enough to evolve. I remembered that I remembered -that's all it was, a memory of a memory, that's all I had- that back when I was at my first stage I could remember a tiny piece of my life before I was caught. And once I evolved I could only just barely remember it. All I could remember was a waterfall. I know that now because I happened to tell another of his pokemon, and they mentioned it to me again after I forgot. But my memory-of-a-memory told me I had been safe and happy.  
  
I was scared. Changing had been horrible. When I finally came to accept what I was, I realized some of my memories were gone. I don't know how many, but there were times when I knew I had done something but I couldn't actually remember. All my nice childhood memories, of playing with my master's other pokemon, and my life before I was caught, were almost gone.  
  
I had changed, not just in body, awful as that had been, but in mind. I've talked to wild pokemon along with trained ones, but only trained pokemon seem to have this memory loss. We remember battles, training, pain and suffering fine. But not happiness. I don't know why, but that's the way it is. I blame the trainers for this. They taught us all life is for a pokemon is fighting, that nothing else matters, and it is reflected in what happens to us.  
  
My trainer was not happy when I failed to evolve. It is very hard to get my kind to the level necessary to evolve, and he wasn't about to let all my hard work not pay off for him.  
  
I tried to explain to him, and merely convinced myself that pokemon truly were lower. All those times I tried to talk to him as a child, I was convinced he had understood, if not the words, then the feeling behind them. Now I realize what I was saying was just how happy I was to win a battle, how glad I was he was my trainer. Of course I thought he heard. But I was just saying what he told me. Now, when I was trying to tell him why I wasn't doing what he wanted, he didn't understand, because he had never understood a word I said in the first place. I realized he had never even figured out they were words. He just thought I was babbling to myself.  
  
He didn't understand. And the second time the change came, and the second time I spurned it, he got mad. He yelled at me and even hit me once, not hard.  
  
Humans don't understand what they are to us. We are caught as children, and have little or no contact with anyone but them. Most of the pokemon we come in contact with are the pokemon we fight with, who we don't talk to, and our trainer's pokemon, who are the same as us. And even among the pokemon our trainer owns, it is rare two or more will be out at the same time, let alone about to talk.  
  
He was all I had, all I had ever had. I couldn't remember my family, and the closest thing I had to friends were his other pokemon, who I might see once a year. Everything I did was for his approval and praise. And now he was mad at me. What did I exist for, if not to do what he told me?  
  
And the third time the change came, I obeyed him.  
  
When I opened my eyes, spread my wings, moved my new arms and legs uncertainly, and looked into his proud eyes, I thought, for one instant, I had done the right thing.  
  
An instant later, I realized that while I knew what pokemon he had, I had no memory of the time we spent together, even though I knew we had.  
  
And then I just wanted to die.  
  
I kept fighting, but my world was shattered. I had guessed, for a long time, that fighting was pointless, but I had always denied it. It isn't easy to realize the only thing you have done for your entire life is worthless.  
  
My master didn't care about me, I had no reason to fight, and I had lost every memory that wasn't of a battle.  
  
Years passed, and one day, when he sent me out against a strong pokemon, I looked around and flew away.  
  
He recalled me, and had the gall to claim he would never force me to do anything against my will, so why did I disobey him?  
  
I snapped. He wouldn't force me to do anything against my will, yet he wouldn't let me disobey, or even escape? He had already forced me to evolve, what more could he do to me?  
  
A lot, in fact. He stopped letting me out at all. Sometimes in a battle he would let me out, hungry and disoriented, and the other pokemon would attack me before I could escape. It didn't take him long to learn to only do this with flying opponents, because then I couldn't escape.  
  
I tried flying away, but he would recall me. And he didn't even figure out he was keeping me against my will, because he never even realized I could have any thoughts beyond obey master or disobey master.  
  
I was desperate. One day, when he let me out to fight after not even giving me a drink of water for almost two days, I just turned around and killed him.  
  
I should have left then. But I just stood there, horrified. I couldn't even remember any part of my life other then him and the battles I fought for him. Humans don't understand. Our trainer is the only creature we have contact with for months, even years. We have no family or friends. We exist to please our masters.  
  
So they caught me and caged me. Why did I do it? They didn't know. They noticed I was starving and dehydrated, but that wasn't enough. My species of pokemon is considered smart, and so they tried to look for a motive, never even considering I might have wanted more in life, that I might have gotten tired of the abuse.  
  
The humans who came to see me made my life with my master look like paradise, even when he was starving me. They would throw things at me, poke me with sharp sticks that broke my skin, and if I fought back I would be cruelly punished.  
  
So when I killed them and broke out, I didn't feel any remorse like I did for my master. I let out the other, weaker pokemon at that prison too. They had been there longer then me. They slaughtered everyone they could before leaving, from old men and women to little babies. I didn't help, but only because I was busy opening the cages.  
  
Now I'm a wild pokemon. I live in seclusion, killing any humans I find on my territory. Considering to what they did to me, I don't think they should feel so hurt that the only reason I'm strong enough to do this is because I was raised by a human. Considering what they did to me, I don't think they should be so surprised by what I choose to do with my freedom. Considering what they did to me, they should realize I am being kinder to them then they were to me.  
  
After all, what else would I do? I don't remember any life other then fighting and pain. I killed the closest thing to a family I had. And it's because of humans that I'm like this. They took my memories of everything but suffering, so I take their life.  
  
  
  
Okay, so I'm warped. What did you think 


End file.
